Off all the branches of the paranormal sciences, cryptozoology is by far my favorite. In this pseudoscience one researches the existence of mythical or ‘unproven to exist’ creatures. One of the most popular cryptids to be researched in the modern age is the elusive Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot.
How exciting or terrifying would it be to come face to face with an 8 foot 700lb fur covered man monster? Well believe it or not there are brave souls or perhaps crazy ones, that venture into the woods in an attempt to catch a mere glimpse of the mighty giant. And that is where I have a problem.
The cable TV shows that show these supposed professional Sasquatch researchers, doing their thing in the wilderness. Never getting more than questionable results though ending every episode as if it were a huge success. Here is a common list of tests done to locate or prove a Sasquatch is nearby, according to these amateurish professionals.
Sasquatch Yells - It has been long claimed by Bigfoot Hunters that Sasquatch lets out with an eerie wailing yell that can be heard for miles through the dense forest. And anyone that has spent time in the wilderness has heard these haunting cries. At least part of this claim is true as even I have heard yells in the forest that I couldn’t explain. And that's the point, NO ONE can explain them. It has NEVER been proven OR disproven that these cries come from a Sasquatch. As a matter of scientific fact, animals in the cat family will occasionally let out a horrifying cry moments before death, wolves let out a yell after the death of an Alpha, and some bears will roar a warning cry that sounds so high pitched that you’d never imagine it came from a bear. Perhaps the Sasquatch yell truly is from Sasquatch, or perhaps just another cry from a known wild animal that we have yet to document.
Knocking - Most Sasquatch Researchers agree that the elusive creatures partially communicate by knocking large rocks or branches against the side of trees. Possible of course, also possible is woodpeckers, tree branches falling, old trees toppling over, and the wind blowing two large branches together. Not one Bigfoot hunter has ever claimed to actually see a Sasquatch doing this, or even holding a stick, so why is this considered a form of Sasquatch communication? Mainly due to the fact that we don’t know what or where this sound we occasionally hear in the forest is, so IT MUST BE Bigfoot smacking a tree… right????
Odor - Any cryptozoologist whether Sasquatch hunters or researchers of a different cryptid, will most likely tell you this if asked, Bigfoot stinks! Awww, that's just not nice to say, and is it true? Let's take a look at the evidence or lack of, have you ever been walking down a trail when you get the whiff of ‘putrid death’ in the air? Well according to Sasquatch Researchers, that means a Bigfoot is nearby.
Their reasoning is this, Sasquatch doesn’t take a bath and because Sasquatch is considered the possible ‘missing link’, making it partially human, it would have sweat glands that closely resemble humans. When a human doesn’t bathe for a week you smell bad, but go without a bath for a month, or a year and you will smell like ‘putrid death’ to all the noses around you. Although this is a semi-well thought out and logical reason for a horrible smell being a conclusive signal of a nearby Sasquatch, some more obvious reasons have been overlooked. Things such as a dead decaying animal, an animal with glandular condition, or decaying plants some of which do smell pretty rancid under the right conditions.
And don't forget the old saying, ‘you can’t trust your nose any more than you can trust your eyes’. The reason being that we have imaginative brains, and when something is unfamiliar, such as a smell that is new to us, our brain associates it with the closest approximation in our memory. That's why on occasion you will notice that something smells like (INSERT A SMELL HERE) to you, but not quite. And honestly, what make Bigfoot hunter even think that it doesn’t bathe, most animals wild and domestic, at least attempt to bathe in one form or another. Why would Sasquatch be different?
And of course the footprints. Literally thousands of footprints have been located and plaster casted. Some obvious fakes, others who know.
I am the first person who would claim to believe in the myth of Bigfoot. However, being an experienced outdoorsman, I also know that many of the things people claim is Sasquatch or a sign of Sasquatch, is nothing more than nature doing what nature does.
Did you know that the planet cries? It does, ask a geologist or seismologist. During the right conditions, the ground or more specifically the compressed air trapped beneath the ground, can escape and make a wailing sound that will make your skin crawl. This is rare, but it does happen.
Have you ever heard of a rock-slide? If the slide is made of large boulders then we can all guess what it would sound like. However what about the difference in sound made between a rock-slide made of sandstone versus a rock-slide made of granite?
Did you know bears will often walk in the footprints of the bears that came before them? When a bear is walking they will often partially or completely step in the footprint made by a previous bear. This can create a larger footprint impression, that is often mistaken for Bigfoot prints. A Sasquatch Hunter will have you believe they can always easily identify the bear print and in good conditions I’m sure that's true.
However, what about bad soil conditions where the impression is incomplete. Or old imprints that have been softened and shaped by the weather? Something as simple as ¼ of water poured into a bear print, can depending on weather cause the soil in the print to smooth and shape causing the combined pawprints to appear as one. And yes this would even cause a small amount of soil to seep into the claw impressions hiding the claw prints. Suddenly you have a Bigfoot print.
I want to be clear, I have great respect for cryptid researchers, real ones. Not the TV based glory hounds who lead you on a 47 minute journey through the forest, just to show you broken branches, dented trees and unidentifiable footprints. Only to have you ‘tune in next time’ for the next great episode of ‘follow me to nowhere’. They're counting on you tuning in to satisfy your 'need to know', yet offer nothing of substance.
So PLEASE, I urge you not to believe what you see or hear on supposed documentaries, as rarely do they offer anything more than less than imaginative speculation and flimsy at best evidence.
Oh and just an afterthought, in this age of thermal detection, you would think that someone would have equipped a helicopter or small plane with thermal and night vision, then flown over these suspected Bigfoot hotspots. If an investigator can’t tell the difference between a 5 ft long bear or an 8 ft tall biped on a thermal screen, then they have no business calling themselves investigators.
